Nancy was attending an IT conference in Vegas and Brandon was going to tag along. So of course my Dad wanted to go as well. Hmmmm, not surprised. I agreed to go for a few days - Sun to Tue...didn't want to go too long as I just got back from FL. It worked out very well cos Nancy went to the conference during the day and Brandon hung out with my Dad. I hung out at the pool one day and then the outlets the next day. Gambled a bit but lost big time. Probably the most I've ever lost ever. But I did get carded at the craps table so all was not lost.
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A quick trip to West Palm to clear my head and re-center myself. So much going on and trying to figure out some of the patterns/behaviors that I've been following. Some good and some not so good. There's a small boutique beachfront hotel that I've been going to over the years. And while it's a little daunting to go by myself, I needed to get away.
Somehow fate had other ideas because it turned out that my friend and a colleague and his wife were both in Ft Lauderdale! So I wasn't alone at night! And during the day, I had my alone time and sat on the beach.- man, I cried my eyes out cos I realized how much I missed my Mom and Hel. Then thought about everything that was going on and tried to put it in perspective. I also re-affirmed my self-worth. Well, I tried...And without going into detail, how I thought I was over a bad experience that happened about 10 years ago but I guess I wasn't. Watching "Crazy Rich Asians" and seeing that same scenario play out on the big screen brought out some painful feelings to the surface. It was when the rich mother of the guy told the girl he's dating that she will never be enough! Acknowledging it and understanding how that could've affected me helped during my self-reflective time on the beach. It's still a work in progress but hoping that I'm still growing as a person despite being in my 50s!! Yikes... Was at the pool with my Dad Sunday and he asked if I ate yet...I said no....and he pointed to my belly and said "maybe you shouldn't because look at your belly!" Wow, I felt like he was channeling my Mom. That is something she would say.
Needless to say I need to stay on my diet....gggrrrrr! |
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May 2022
AuthorI'm fortunate enough to have an awesome job at a biotech company. I'm also blessed to have the bestest of friends in the world - from Castle Square, ATASK, and Jamie Club - you know who you are! Last but not least, I have a family that are always there for me. Categories |