But she seems to be doing better now. Definitely more tired but she still tries to go out for walks. Her incentive is to smoke. Yes, still smoking.....I know, I know but what can you do??
My mom didn't fare well after the 1st day of radiation. The nerves in her head and upper body were super active which equals pain. I paged Dr. Marcoux and he prescribed morphine tabs. And of course, Mom is allergic to it! She broke out in a rash. So we've increased her dosage of oxycodone.
But she seems to be doing better now. Definitely more tired but she still tries to go out for walks. Her incentive is to smoke. Yes, still smoking.....I know, I know but what can you do??
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Met with the NP for Dr. Tishler. Basically he went over the side effects and it actually sounds minimal ie fatigue, some hair loss, dryness of the skin where the radiation hits. I expressed my concerns over the neurological effects of the radiation. He said there's no way of them knowing how this will affect my mom's fibromyalgia. And that they will rely on my mom telling them of any new symptons.
I then told him that my mom was on the fence about it. And he had these words of wisdom - if she decides not to do it, the tumors will grow and the symptons of that is far greater than the side effects of the radiation. It won't cure it but it is definitely treatable. So why not try it. She agreed, hallelujah!!!! I'm happy because this may mean we'll have her for a little bit longer. At what cost, I don't know. I know I can't be selfish and will honor her wishes if the pai My mom didn't sleep all weekend. She was thinking about whether she wanted to go through with it or not. She felt like if she did go through with it, she would be doing it for Norm and my dad. And not for herself. Yet she would be the one suffering. And she would gladly suffer willingly if the radiation cures the cancer. But the fact is the tumors will grow back so she would only be prolonging the inevitable.
She's right. So I wasn't surprised when she told us she wasn't going to do it. Norm and dad were so upset. They wanted her to try and if it was too much, she can stop. Well, all of a sudden mom decided she wanted a cig and left. I followed her and tried a different tactic. I guess she was concerned about the side effects and suffering from the pain. I told her maybe she should go in and meet with the doctors. Then she can make a informed decision. She agreed.....thank goodness. My instincts were right, unfortunately. The MRI shows two tumors in her brain. Dr Marcoux said he's not entirely sure the tumors caused the memory loss. But he recommends she gets radiation. Come on, she just finished radiation to her chest 3 days ago! How much more can her body take? Her nerve pain increased after the radiation, much more so than chemo.
I can see the disappointment in my mom's face. And then the indecision. I told Dr. Marcoux that she stated she wasn't going to go through treatment for her brain. Of course my dad is yelling that she needs to do this. I think that's why Mom agreed to it. Maybe just to shut my dad up? In any case I am to wait for a call from the radiation team to schedule the consultation and planning meeting on Monday. Because of mom's recent short-term memory loss, I scheduled a brain MRI for her today. I'm worried the tumors traveled to her brain. On our way home, she said adamantly that if the cancer did spread to her head, she will not go through treatment. It's too much and since there's no cure, she just wants painkillers and to stay at home. Do I abide by her wishes or convince her to recevie treatment. Hopefully it's not a dilemna I have to deal with tomorrow when we meet with Dr. Marcoux. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Mom is doing better, definitely happy this is her last treatment. On the car ride home, she asked me how long do I think she has left? How am I supposed to answer? So I threw it back to her and asked her how long does she think she has. She said she didn't know. I told her she needs to hang on until I get married! At which point she said, "Yea, right. Who knows how long that'll be!"
We were thinking about going down to MD to visit Nancy and Brandon next week. But mom nixed it. Said she wants to wait a bit - still feeling tired and weak. Mom had her 7th treatment today and seems to be doing better. She is still super fatigued and doesn't have alot of energy. Also, her memory is shot. She forgot to take her afternoon meds a few days ago. Could the tumors have spread to her brain? I'll have to see about getting a brain MRI for her.
One good news from the radiation oncologist, the tumors have shrunk based on the films they take before each treatment. The plan is to meet with Dr Marcoux next week and schedule a CT scan in the next month or so. Apparently the tumors will continue to shrink even after treatment. Hang in there, Mom.... Met with Pam, our nurse regarding mom's symptoms over the weekend - night sweats, nerve pain, and coughing. And according to Pam, the cancer is probably causing the sweats and the radiation is causing her to cough more. For the pain, we're going to try and have Mom take the oxycodone every 4 hours instead of 3 x a day. Hopefully, there won't be too much of a lapse so the pain is more manageable. Man, the woman is a warrior in that she can tolerate such pain on a daily basis. Where does she have the will to keep fighting? Mom, you inspire me.....
I'm hanging out at my parent's place and Mom blurted out that she wants to be cremated?!?! Huh??? And she wants her ashes to be scattered in the ocean. What the hell? She doesn't even like the water....the kicker is when she said since Norm and I don't have kids, there'll be no one to visit her grave anyways. Ummm, I reminded her that she bought plots for her and Dad. Sell it, she said. She doesn't like the cemetary anymore because there are too many Chinese people there. Ok, Mom...
It's kicking her butt....she's lost her appetite and only wants to sleep. Plus coughing up a storm. Poor Mom.
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May 2022
AuthorI'm fortunate enough to have an awesome job at a biotech company. I'm also blessed to have the bestest of friends in the world - from Castle Square, ATASK, and Jamie Club - you know who you are! Last but not least, I have a family that are always there for me. Categories |